Today is an activity day in Aarav’s school. It was supposed to be held last week but it was postponed due to harsh weather. We (Parents) get enough reminder from School through GCR as well as in parent app regarding activity’s Do’s and Don’ts.
We (Myself and Wife) always look forward to having this kind of activity to provide early exposure for Aarav to learn in fun way rather than forced academics. It is heartening to see many such parents think in the same fashion and prepare their kids for such activities. But despite multiple reminders, it is disheartening to see few children came in regular uniform. I feel pity for those kids who missed out a chance to express themselves, be part of the theme chosen, felt odd man out and be perplexed for their parent’s mistake.
We always see it as odd incident and casually let go giving excuses that Parents might be busy working, or it is common to miss out few. I agree! But we often fail to foresee the psychological disturbances a little kid goes through for such a miss. It could be costly for them, we never know. I am positive that School must be having a backup plan to make those kids be part of the activity.
To Parents:
I always hear from fellow parents that they toil hard to make their kid’s life enjoyable. We, as parents, mostly think from an adult perspective on what is good, needed and want for our kids. We often fail to see from our kid’s perspective as we almost forget what it is like being a kid. Kids do not understand the value of money, big school, fancy extracurricular enrollment, and any materialistic possessions. They just want to be free, experimental and explore on their own. We need to strike a perfect balance between asks from both adult and kid’s perspective.
Parents spend money on buying toys, fancy dress, big schools, and courses to compensate for the time they are sacrificing (not being with their kids) while painstakingly working to earn a better life financially. When money is spent/ invested, it is natural that we expect a return on investment. This induces external pressure on kids to perform better according to their parent’s unrealistic expectation. In this mad race, we often fail to learn the minds of our kids and their struggle. So, to all parents (especially working parents), let us try to understand the world of kids.
Quality Time:
Let us spend quality time with them (Not being with them while watching TV/ working while they are busy playing games on smartphones). Quality time is dedicated time slot in a day for our kids with a short/ long term goal. I schedule time slot with Aarav to teach, outdoor game, cycling, to finish homework. I never touch my smartphone while I spend quality time with Aarav. This helps me to understand him better, focus all my energy on him and give him the sense of fulfillment being with dad. In turn, personally I am achieving parenting goals set on my kid through quality time. I have satisfaction of time well spent.
Personal Time:
Every day, before going to bed (15 Minutes Max), I share all my day’s proceedings (Both personal and official) with Aarav. I share all (of course age appropriate) with him (Both success/ failures). I apologize if I misbehaved, explain why I lost my cool, seek his help to prevent from future, ask his forgiveness. Losing temper/ yelling/ beating (occasionally) is so natural when things are going out of control. But mostly kids are in the receiving end just that we are superior to them. This is Power does to human. So, accepting this human flaw, I try to correct it during personal time. Also, I use this as a chance to hear from him about his school activities. Do not expect kids to share all while we don't share ours with them.
Checklist:
Prepare a schedule for the entire week and have a checklist of mandatory lists to accomplish. Example, Sight words to be completed, Home work to be completed, Writing practice, Reading practice, Coming Friday is an activity/ color day, Blue color dress on activity day. Need to prepare content for speech (Use Quality time for practicing the speech). Keep this checklist in a prominent space where you can see it on a day-to-day basis. A checklist like this would act as reminder. We shall even set reminders in our smartphones.
Journal:
Start writing journal in an excel sheet about your kids. I started doing this since 2020 about the notable milestones (Both physical and cognitive), appreciation, bad days. I also jot down incidents where I beat Aarav with short descriptions, time of incident and alternate actions that would have prevented this incident. According to the study, our self-control will deplete (Ego depletion) with time. My Journal proved this theory as I could see that I lost self-control only after 8PM IST. I am being extra cautious now after finding this pattern. This Journal will be your time-machine to travel back to see your kids journey and perfect tool to retrospect if needed to correct your parenting style.
Parenting is a lifelong journey. We are all new to this role and we cannot copy our parent’s style as it is outdated in this digital age. Hence, we need to constantly upgrade ourselves, share with fellow parents to learn/ relearn/ unlearn from others. Connect with us to share your parenting style/ hiccups. Let us march together to raise our kids better. Share your thoughts in comments!
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